Gritch Spindlewick

Backstory

Gritch found it wedged between tide-worn rocks after a storm, like the ocean had tried to throw away a bad idea and missed. It looked like a foil board snapped in half: one lonely wing, two masts like a weird metal wishbone, a tiny platform to stand on, and a handlebar that seemed pointed in the wrong direction. Naturally, Gritch took it as a personal challenge. If it were broken, he would ride it anyway.

He dragged it home, tried to “fix” it, and only made it worse. Then he noticed something suspicious: the “broken” part was too clean, too intentional. That was when he discovered it was designed like that on purpose, and on a faded sticker, he could make out a name: a Proxyfoil, a self-powered pump foil setup meant to start from shore and be driven by your own up and down rhythm, with the handlebars giving extra control and flexibility. But it looked unlike anything he had ever seen being ridden in the surf before.

The first session was a comedy. Gritch tried to muscle it like a normal board and got slapped back into the sea with a mouthful of salt and humility. By the fifth session, things changed, right on schedule. He stopped fighting the design, used the bar to stay stable, and learned the real trick: push off strong, pump smooth, stay balanced, and let speed create lift. Once it flew, the world went quiet in that special foiling way, and Gritch realized he had not found a broken board at all. He had found a shortcut to obsession, plus a full-body workout he did not ask for.

Gritch Spindlewick's Merch Shop

Gritch Spindlewick's Foiling Discipline

First Flight

Gritch's first real flight on the hydrofoil pogo stick happened on a rocky point at sunset, the kind of place where most riders would keep their gear far away from the rocks. He lined up a rock start hydrofoil like it was a dare, took one committed step, and trusted the compact hydrofoil setup to clear cleanly without dragging a tail. The first attempt was loud, splashy, and full of regret. The second attempt was worse because he tried to overcorrect with the handlebar hydrofoil and twisted himself into a knot.

On the run that finally counted, he stopped trying to force it and focused on foil balance and rhythm. He pushed off, stayed tall but relaxed, and used a smooth pump to glide cadence until the foil pogo board lifted and stabilized. That was the moment pogostick foiling made sense: the world got quieter, the board stopped feeling like a prank, and the pogo foil became a controlled glide instead of a bouncing argument with the ocean.

Personality

Gritch is the kind of monster who treats strange equipment like a personal invitation. He loves anything that looks unfinished, unusual, or misunderstood, which is why he bonded instantly with a pump foil pogo that most people would stare at and walk away from. He is stubborn, but in a useful way. He will repeat the same attempt ten times, not because he is reckless, but because he believes every try contains one small lesson.

He is also oddly generous with his knowledge. Gritch will tease you for doubting the design, then patiently explain the one detail that matters, usually something about keeping your shoulders quiet and your feet centered on the platform hydrofoil. He laughs at himself constantly, which makes beginners feel safe to struggle, because he proves that looking silly is part of learning.

Favorite Conditions

Gritch thrives on days that look boring to everyone else. Light wind, textured but manageable water, and small wave foiling conditions where there is just enough energy to help, but not enough chaos to punish every mistake. Those are the days when a self-powered hydrofoil shines, because you can start from shore, pump for speed, and cruise without needing a tow or a big wave.

He also loves flatwater pump foiling when the ocean is too messy. If there is a protected cove, a calm harbor, or even a mellow lake, he will treat it like a training ground. He will do loops, practice smooth starts, and work on carving on a pump foil with gentle arcs, using the handlebars for stability.

Grinch's Code

• Commit to the start: A shore start hydrofoil works when you step in with confidence and calm.
• Rhythm over force: Pump foiling technique should feel smooth and repeatable, not frantic.
• Hands guide, feet drive: The handlebar hydrofoil helps balance, but your stance does the real work.
• Stay centered on the platform: A platform hydrofoil rewards quiet posture and steady pressure.
• Use the setup's advantage: The compact hydrofoil setup is made for close-in launches, respect that.
• Glide is the goal: Pump to glide is where efficiency lives; bouncing is just noise.
• Train on small days: Small wave foiling teaches timing and control better than hero surf.
• Teach what you learn: Foil training for beginners works best when you share the simple fixes.

Beginner Tips

Start with the basics of human-powered hydrofoil movement: a strong push-off, a stable stance, and a steady rhythm before you try to do anything fancy. When learning pump foiling, many people pump too big and too fast, which creates wobbles and burnout. Instead, use compact strokes and aim for a consistent pump-to-glide pattern. If you feel unstable, soften your knees and keep your upper body quiet, especially your shoulders.

For shore start hydrofoil practice, choose deep enough water and a clear path, then focus on getting the foil pogo board moving straight before adding any steering. The handlebar hydrofoil should be light in your hands, more like a balance aid than a steering wheel. Once you can lift and hold a steady height for a few seconds, begin gentle direction changes. Carving on a pump foil is a great next step because it teaches control without needing speed spikes.

If you have access to a dock, dock start hydrofoil practice can shorten the learning curve, but it is not required. Flatwater pump foiling is just as valuable, and it builds the foil balance and rhythm you need in real ocean texture. Give yourself time. Gritch's rule is simple: five sessions is not failure, it is the warm-up, and every clean glide is proof you are getting it.

Preferred Ride

Gritch loves a rocky point at sunset when the wind is light, the water is textured but manageable, and the waves are too small for most surfing. Those are his favorite conditions because Proxyfoil was made for that kind of day: flatwater glides when nothing else is happening, and playful little wave energy when it is just enough to feel alive. And when he jumped off that rock for the first time, he had an epiphany. No big tail or long fuselage to hit the rocks on made jumping off that rock effortless.

What Makes Him Grinch

Gritch is stubborn in a way that turns confusion into progress. He does not quit because a design looks strange; he doubles down and learns why it works. He is also the rare monster who can laugh at himself mid-wipeout, then immediately try again with one tiny adjustment. That is his superpower: he treats every fall like feedback, not failure.

He also has collector-brain. When he learns something is custom-made, he gets even more attached, like the foil is a living artifact that chose him. He will talk about it like a pet and defend it like a family heirloom, even while admitting it has thrown him into the water more times than he can count.

Signature Move

The Twin-Mast Step-Pop: Gritch starts from a rock or shallow shoreline, takes a strong forward pushing step, and uses the handlebars to keep his shoulders quiet while the foil builds lift. Once he is gliding, he times two compact pumps to gain speed, then does a controlled unweighting pop to raise ride height for a moment without breaching the wing. He lands back into a stable glide by re-centering over the platform and easing the bar input, turning it into a smooth, repeatable lift-management trick rather than a jump.

Fun Facts

• Gritch originally tried to “repair” the Proxyfoil with a plank, then got offended when it rode worse.
• He calls the handlebar “the confusion lever,” then uses it to carve like a pro.
• He brags that it can be carried like a backpack, mostly because he enjoys looking dramatic while walking past people with normal boards.
• He tells beginners, “Five sessions are not failure, it is the warm-up,” because that was his exact timeline.

Grinch's Motto

“Earn what you fly.”